Whole30 - Week One Update

 
(Photo Credit) 

I started Whole30 last week in an attempt to figure out if my body's functional problems were related to something I was eating. I was still experiencing some residual effects of the gastrointestinal discomfort for the first day or two, but by Day Three, it had disappeared. By Day Five, my stomach had flattened out. I hadn't really lost weight, but the inflammation in my body from several weeks of distress had finally subsided. It looked like I'd lost a few pounds. I felt great!

The transition didn't leave me with a sugar crash, as I'd anticipated. I had occasional sweet tooth cravings, but I'd temper it with a watered down glass of orange juice or a handful of grapes... and it worked. I didn't believe it would, but it did! (Those who know me understand my love of all things chocolate.) One day, a work lunch featured a taco bar. I loaded up my plate with ground beef, diced chicken, jalapeños, lettuce, tomatoes, and olives. I stayed away form the cheese, sour cream, and taco sauce. I took one tortilla so no one would give me bizarre looks (I didn't feel like explaining myself) and discarded it after my meal. My deconstructed tacos tasted wonderful, and I remained loyal to my plan!

On Friday, the beau and I traveled up north for a weekend getaway at a bed and breakfast. I packed a cooler with food to cook in our fully functional kitchen, so I would be prepared to stick to my Whole30 challenge. After seven hours of travel (and briefly getting stuck in a blizzard), I cooked up a Whole30- and beau-friendly meal: Italian sausage made with pork and chicken served over a sauteéd blend of onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, garlic, and jalapeños, covered in a veggie-lover's spaghetti sauce. The flavor combination tasted like pizza! I didn't even miss the crust or garlic bread.

The next morning, I cheated on Whole30. Our wonderful hosts cooked an amazing breakfast of homemade scones with lemon curd and raspberry jam. Yeah, there was no way I could look her in the face and say, "I'm on a special short-term diet, and even though you got up early to cook this for me, I'm not going to eat it." No chance in hell could I say that to this sweet lady! So, I ate it. I also had a baked egg (I did ask for no cheese on the egg) and a sausage link. I waited for several hours to see if my body would react horribly to my diet cheat, but other than my stomach digesting very loudly, I saw no ill effects. For lunch I got right back on the wagon and ordered a broiled whitefish fillet with roasted vegetables at a local restaurant.

The next morning, our wonderful host made Dutch pancakes (oven baked pancakes with fruit in them). Again, I couldn't say no. I figured I'd get right back on the wagon after another delicious B&B breakfast. But at that point I'd already resigned to the fact that I cheated that weekend and so I justified to myself another indulgence at lunch: a grilled cheese sandwich. They are such a delightful comfort food to me, though nothing about it was Whole30! It came with sweet potato fries and an aioli dipping sauce. We also started lunch with a mushroom appetizer.

Boy, did I pay for it. But not in the way you might think.

After finishing my meal, my tongue started to go numb. The sides and roof of my mouth felt sore, similar to that feeling of burning your mouth on hot pizza and experiencing that tingly soreness the next day. My mouth filled with the taste of metal. What was going on? I was having an allergic reaction! Thankfully, nothing severe happened, and these were my only symptoms. However, they did not subside all day. My mouth was still sore and tasted like metal ten hours later, when I was going to bed. I lost my appetite for the rest of the day, nibbling on only a few kalamata olives to put something in my stomach.

Even this morning--- though the reaction had subsided--- I didn't have much of an appetite. I ate a few roasted almonds for breakfast, and brought an apple and orange to work, but I have yet to touch them. I've been wracking my brain, trying to determine what caused the reaction. I believe it was an ingredient in the aioli, or something in a seasoning that caused it. Unfortunately, because I did not prepare it myself, I can't narrow it down further than that.

I am, however, right back on Whole30. I'm even determined to turn it into a Whole32, to make up for the two days I cheated on during my weekend trip. This morning my gut was back to hating me, proving that I need to stick with this in order to get well. I pledge to be far more strict on my intake now, and if anyone tries to tell me a little cheat won't hurt, I'll remember the penalty I paid the last time I broke protocol.

Listening To My Gut

When I first mentioned how I was considering doing the Whole30 challenge to a few people, it was met with some skepticism. The Whole30 program--- which involves abstaining from sugar, alcohol, grains, dairy products, and legumes for thirty days--- probably just sounded like another fad diet gimmick that involves a temporary deprivation to yield temporary results. I was hesitant to bring it up at all, since I've started a number of healthy lifestyle approaches in the past year but have not followed through on them. The less-than-stellar reaction had me actually questioning my ability to follow through with it before I'd even started.

I can't believe I almost let my insecurities conquer me again.

After about ten seconds, I took a deep breath, and explained the idea behind the challenge. The goal is not for me to find a quick-fix weight loss through choices that can't be realistically maintained. I'm choosing to embark on this journey because it involves eating real, unprocessed food: fruits, vegetables, meats, nuts, seeds, and olive and coconut oils. I want to prove that this can be also done on a budget. The dietary omissions are not for slim-down purposes, but rather to determine the cause of my body's functional issues by using the process of elimination.

For several weeks, my gut has been trying to tell me something. My digestive and excretory systems have been malfunctioning, and not in a pleasant way (see my weirdly popular post relevant to this subject here). What I'd initially thought might have been a "bug" has lingered long enough to arouse suspicion. I started to think that this may be my body's way of telling me that I have a sensitivity or an intolerance to a certain food or group of foods. Though I had not been restrictive in my eating habits for most of my life, I feel that as I've made more healthy food changes over the past year, I've become more in tune with cues my system gives me. Either that, or now those cues are strong enough to speak a whole lot louder.

Eliminating foods that are common sources of digestive issues--- for one month--- will help me to determine if I do have a food sensitivity. Then, as I slowly incorporate these items one by one back into my diet, I will be better able to gauge my body's reaction to them. I have to tell you, quite frankly, that I'm sick of being at work and feeling my stomach cramp and bloat. It's embarrassing, it's miserable, and it's clearly a sign that something is off.

The idea of cleaning out my system is currently far more appealing than the prospect of weight loss... which is saying a lot, because losing dress sizes has been a priority of mine for some time. I'm already mourning the loss of my beloved peanut butter and my comforting bowls of oatmeal and pasta... but then I remember that this isn't forever. It's only for thirty days... that is, unless I discover one of them to be the root cause of this gut rot.

My first day of Whole30 was yesterday. So far, I feel no withdrawal effects, and my stomach has been behaving. If this does work (and if I actually do it, it should work), I'll not only save myself some serious discomfort, but I'll also likely see physical results. And then my insecurities won't have a leg to stand on. What the hell should I care what anyone else thinks, anyway? It's not their body, it's not their digestive system, it's not their choice... it's MINE. And I'm going to keep trying hard to find what works for me.

I'd like to thank the lovely Claire over at The Ascent Blog for sharing her experiences with Whole30 and for being my inspiration to start this venture. (She just got engaged to one of my dearest friends and that makes me so happy!)

Conviction, Part Two

(Personal Photo)

Sometimes, it takes days like yesterday to remember why it's important to surround oneself with positive people:

Last night, I went to a concert. I know a member of the band that backs a very well-known artist, and he put me on the guest list. Everything from the moment I parked my car to the moment I got home accumulated into an overall amazing experience. It was the kind of night you hear about other people having and it makes you a little jealous... and now I have had the privilege of enjoying such an evening!

I picked up my ticket and VIP pass (I almost never get to say that!) and found my seat. The woman next to me was friends with the band's tour manager, and she had extensive knowledge of the layout of the Riverside Theater. We took advantage of our passes and she showed me the basement, where I got to see the city's first air conditioner. It took up an entire room, and had been obviously sitting unused for some time. She explained how it had taken water from the river and moved it through a machine and into these massive coils that cooled the building. It was fascinating!

Milwaukee's first-ever air conditioner! (Personal Photo)

My friend in the band wanted to have his picture with the Bronze Fonz, so we jumped the gate behind the building and crossed the bridge to the statue, where I snapped his photo. He and the rest of the band had to change for the set, so my new friend and I went to the back of the theater to hang out with the lighting and sound guys. I ended up sitting back there for the entire show. During the encore, the head security guard let me leave to bring the band a case of New Glarus beer from my car (I'd brought it as a thank-you gift for letting me in to the show). I made conversation with the roadies as they packed up the gear, and then I took then entire band across the street to Mo's Irish Pub. They drank Rusty Nails and Irish Car Bombs and signed ticket stubs for a few excited fans. We talked about the Brewers and eating oysters.

It was nearly 2am when the crew had the tour bus packed up and they were ready to leave for Chicago. Two of the band members, including my friend, insisted on walking me back to my car so I wouldn't have to go alone. Then I drove them back to their tour bus. My stream of consciousness went something like this: "I'm driving a band through downtown Milwaukee I'm so glad I keep my car clean!"

I tell this story not from a bragging standpoint (okay, maybe a little), but because it reinforces how surrounding yourself with great people yields great experiences. Conversely, being around people who suck the energy right out of you can take its toll. Part one of my conviction process was about putting self-improvement ahead of general goal-making, especially when it came to my health. The second part of my meditations on personal conviction revolve around the relationships I have with others.

I reached a point recently where I realized several of my relationships had become unfulfilled at best, and a few were actually destructive. There were friends who would consistently make plans and then break them on short notice, or sometimes with no notification at all. Entire weekend plans would fall apart when several people would flake on their commitments. Repeated offenders, I decided, no longer had a place in my agenda. Perhaps we were close once upon a time, but it seemed that those friendships had run their course and the season had come to an end. I had some amazing memories with those people, and I will forever treasure them, but we'd grown in different directions and it was time to move on.

Social media can make this difficult. It seems impossible nowadays to completely disconnect from anyone. Just a few short years ago, connections would fall in and out of our lives with a healthy ebb and flow. Now, those ties can linger long past their prime, often exceeding what should have been an expiration date. Social networking has a lot of wonderful benefits, and it is great to reconnect with old friends and acquaintances, but it is sometimes those re-established connections don't go anywhere (and perhaps aren't meant to). The act of "unfriending" someone can be viewed as a grievous offense, even if the two people rarely (if ever) speak to one another.

I've had to adapt to understanding a whole new kind of reconnection with a number of people from my past. Several of them are guys I've dated, or who had an interest in dating me at one point. I have discussed my concerns with the beau, about how I was worried that allowing re-established contact and being friendly would be somehow misinterpreted as an invitation to pursue something more. Do I just leave the past in the past? Is it okay to talk to these people again? If so, I felt obligated to throw out a disclaimer regardless... so I did. And yet, despite being clear on my stance, I feel there are some who just don't get the hint. Others have been respectful about it, but this is a tricky road to navigate with others, and it makes me wary. I don't intend to mislead anyone, nor do I want to offend, but in specific cases it's just been more trouble than it's worth, and that tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

There are even members of my family that have been energy suckers from time to time, and I find myself avoiding them. Not forever, of course--- I love my family--- but when matters develop that are not serious and yet demand a lot of unnecessary attention, I find it best to keep my distance so I don't get pulled into that energy quicksand.  It's really helped my relationships with my loved ones, because I don't allow myself to be repeatedly burdened and dulled with small irritants, and instead invest my energy in loving them well... and being there during the serious situations. Choosing my battles by choosing to remove myself from the equation has improved how I relate to my family.

Co-workers have been a different battle. I can't really choose to avoid unnecessary crises when colleagues burst into my office with last-minute requests/demands, who then get miffed if I already have scheduled appointments when they "need" me. I feel like my time has not been very respected or valued, so even though I can't change the lack of planning on their end, I realized I can set up a more structured outline on my end. I started handling the scattered communications of phone calls, e-mails, and office visits by telling everyone they will need to make an appointment. If it is of high importance, it's best to give me as much notice as possible. After all, I'm the only person working in this department, so I can only be in one place at one time. Instead of letting these colleagues stress me out, I chose to weed out the fake or avoidable emergencies as much as possible. Of course, instant matters come up and I deal with those accordingly, but now I only check my e-mail twice a day, and if I'm busy I choose to respond to phone messages later on.

Conversely, I now value the richness of relationships I do have that much more. I meditated and spend a lot of time focusing on ideas about my spirituality, my relatives, my beau, my friends, my church colleagues, my uplifting--- and organized!--- co-workers, and even my connections on social media (of which I have removed over 100 dormant contacts). I evaluated them all and navigated through the aspects that were bogging me down. I could conserve negative uses of my time and energy and invest them in more positive areas.

I also took a good hard look at what kind of role I fill in these relationships. Am I a good, reliable friend to this person? Do I serve well as a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin? Is this connection mutually beneficial? Am I giving just as much as I'm getting? I need to be held accountable as much as others do. And while on a journey to self-improvement, it is often times imperative that things, ideas, and even people have to be released. It's not always easy, but I've decided I'd rather take the short-term discomfort of "unfriending" over the long-term draining effects of poor relationships.

(I apologize for the repeated references to "energy." It sounds very New Age-y but I can't think of a better way to describe it.)

March Results

(Photo Credit) 

March turned out to be a strange month, as mentioned in my previous post. I ended up going over budget--- mostly on groceries, but also because I had forgotten to factor in one expense in my annual budget plan: homeowners' insurance. Fortunately, my tax return will cover it. I was hoping my full tax return would go into savings to replenish the chunk of my nest-egg spent refinancing my home, but my deposit will just have to be smaller than anticipated. From now on, I'll have to factor in an average of $65 per month to offset the annual bill. I really don't know how that one got past me.

I also went to Target for the first time in many months. I was visiting the family at the end of March for Easter, and stopped at the store to pick up a few necessary items. I ended up leaving with much more. I spent over $400, and had buyer's remorse the moment my feet hit the parking lot. Buying it didn't make me feel fulfilled or excited; it made me feel stressed and impulsive. How had this happened? I ended up leaving all of the unnecessary merchandise in the trunk of my car over the weekend and returned it a few days later, reclaiming over $200 of my initial purchase. Phew.

Also, I only posted and sold one item on eBay in March, and the buyer still hasn't paid me for it. eBay is currently filing a claim against them. I'm not broken up about it, as the total in question was for under $20, and the item is still in my possession.

So, in the month of March, I'd managed to overlook a massive recurring expenditure and spontaneously bought a bunch of stuff at a mega store that I didn't even need. And I didn't bother to post my existing unwanted items for sale online. My brain was clearly not operating well! Perhaps it was family-related; my grandmother was admitted to hospice and is not doing well. I went to visit her over Easter weekend, perhaps for the last time

One thing was for certain: in April, I need to get my groove back!

I restructured my 2013 budget plan to include home insurance. This made my "flex money" pool smaller, but that's nothing I can't handle. I need to be more disciplined about my grocery spending. I'm good about writing a shopping list and sticking to it, but I'm not always discerning about what I write on the list. I'll find a new recipe and want to try it, so then I'll add all of the ingredients for it to my grocery list. As much as I enjoy culinary experimentation, methinks I need to rope it in a bit or I'll ruin my budget.

Conviction, Part One

 
(Photo Credit) 

March has been a month of facing personal convictions on many levels. One thing I didn't feel convicted to do was write, so I decided to wait until I felt like I was ready to share where my thoughts have taken me.

For example, I looked at my 30 By 30 list. These goals I set for myself to hopefully accomplish before my 30th birthday no longer seem urgent to me. Whether I complete them by a certain age or not no longer seems relevant. Some goals don't interest me at all anymore. I suddenly felt like I was trying to busy myself unnecessarily. And just like that, I let the list go. I simplified my life further by easing the burden on myself to achieve things that didn't feel like priorities. Sure, maybe someday I'll get to eat at Alinea in Chicago (which would be amazing!) or drink yak butter tea or learn to do the splits... but the self-imposed urgency of achieving these things no longer appeals to me. I did give up using paper towels (my towel dispenser sits naked and lonely on my counter), I continue to read parts of the Old Testament I have not explored before, and I still pursue creative works that I will hopefully submit to a film festival in the not-too-distant future.

I then looked at my list of goals for 2013. I feel differently about this list; it motivates me far more than a more randomized list of cool things to try. These goals were more about bettering myself and my life, as opposed to just doing something interesting:

• I have made great advancements in my posture and stance, mostly out of necessity. My neck and shoulders were in great pain, and by introducing yoga into my regimen, I have found that I slouch less at my desk. I even get up frequently to walk around. I stand while I read documents. My co-worker makes fun of me: "Oh, are you torturing yourself again?" It was more tormenting to sit all day, a sedentary lump with a spine that was slowly morphing into a question mark shape.
• I also get jeers for bringing my own snacks to work. I'm the office "rabbit" because I like to snack on carrots and hummus, fresh gala apples, or a spinach salad. I even brought my own pan to work to make lunch on the office kitchen stove, and I thought my colleagues were going to call the local media because they were so fascinated by it.
• I pledged to read at least one book per month, and I've blown that goal out of the water. I recently discovered my local library had an eBook lending system and read six books on my iPad this month alone! I'm currently reading about yoga breathing and stretching exercises that help with chronic pain.
• I cook a lot more fish, I eat a lot more green vegetables, and I log my meals every single day. I am a bit frustrated because, despite these improved health choices and regular exercise regimen, my weight loss hit a wall. I have been getting stronger and feeling more energized, but my waist hasn't shrunk and the scale hasn't budged. It is discouraging, but I know what I am doing is good for me, and I feel so much better! I think I may need to "shock" my body into breaking this early plateau by eating very cleanly for a while. That means when the beau offers me a few bites of his ice cream, I won't take it... even if it is just a few bites. Hopefully it will become a habit!
• I bought a Le Creuset dutch oven this month. It was certainly an expense, but I see it as a worthwhile investment. I bought it on eBay for under $200 (they retail for over $300) and expect it to last me 30-40 years. I've already cooked several soups in it (storing some in the freezer for future meal options), baked loaves of bread, and made pot roast for a friend in the hospital. This pot can do anything; it's amazing!
• Despite the large purchase, I have been sticking to my 2013 budget plan. I write down everything I buy, and even though I still have about $100 of flex money left in my monthly budget, I am trying to see if I can refrain from spending it for the rest of the month. Then it can go into savings to replenish the expense of refinancing my home (which had to be taken out of my emergency fund). Just a reminder: the money I "save" doesn't make me a wealthy person; it goes towards increased financial independence (see my notes on the devastating effects of divorce) and rebuilding my nest-egg.
• I paid off my last monthly credit card payment. I pay my "everyday expenses" card in full each month, but in the past I made some large purchases using a card with a "no interest for 18 months" plan. This month I made the final payment on the dining room table I bought in late 2011, and paid it off before the deadline so I could avoid shelling out money for interest. It feels good not to have any credit card payments to worry about.
• I no longer feel compelled or tempted to shop at retail stores, even online. I have not purchased any new clothing, nor have I felt the urge to. This is a big deal for me! I love clothes and I used to get bored with my wardrobe very quickly. I'd donate a bunch of clothes, then "justify" my wardrobe cleanse by buying new clothes to replace the old ones. Not anymore! I even busted out the needle and thread to sew a hole in the finger of my winter glove. Me, finally learning to sew. Yep!
• Other spending cuts: thanks to new policies, my prescription medication no longer requires a co-pay. This is a small money saver that will add up over time.  I have not purchased a cocktail all year (thought someone did buy me one... how nice!). I continue to post and sell random knick-knacks on eBay, and though it is an inconsistent process, I do end up getting rid of something every month (and making a tiny profit on it!).

I have felt convicted in focusing more on self-improvement and less on setting other types of goals. The results are cumulative most of the time, and the effects linger a lot longer. My spending habits now feel so natural that I can't imagine going back to the impulsive consumer lifestyle. I also feel convicted to say and remind others that it is okay to change, and it is okay to change your mind.

Part one of my meditations on personal convictions was mostly about my health and wellness, both physically and financially. Coming up in part two: convictions in personal relationships regarding navigation of situations with family, friends, co-workers, and people who pop up from the past.

Triplets!

 

(Personal Photo)

The recent weeks of blog silence can be attributed largely to one thing: my sister gave birth to triplets!

She managed to carry these three little blessings to full term, and delivered them via c-section on February 19th. I became an aunt again... this time to two girls and a boy, all over five pounds apiece! There were some complications--- one of the babies had to have surgery--- but ultimately everyone is now happy, healthy, and home. Needless to say, I've been currently obsessed with being an aunt again three times over (I refer to the title as "Super Aunt")! I had the privilege of visiting my nieces and nephews over the weekend. I played with my oldest nephew, age six, pausing only briefly to hold the babies for a photo opportunity:

Regular blog posts will resume shortly, including a recap of February's spending and health reports.  It was difficult to sit down and write about anything else when reveling in such big, happy news.


In the meantime, enjoy this list of other things I am currently obsessing over:

• Homemade soups (caramelized onion and carrot, sweet potato peanut, creamy tomato, butternut squash and apple)
• Yoga (I sleep so much better at night after breathing and stretching so intently)
• Cinnamon tea (curbs my sweet tooth and tastes so comforting)
• Podcasts (This American Life, StoryCorps, Dinner Party Download)
• Documentaries, always (currently watching all of the this year's Oscars nominations)
• Caramelized onions in/on everything (soup, pizza, risotto)
• My new Le Creuset dutch oven (a long-awaited and carefully-planned investment)
• Baths with almond oil (keeps my skin from drying out without clogging pores)
• Worst Cooks in America (I'm already a huge fan of Chopped; this show is hilarious!)
• Made in Milwaukee on the DIY Network (represent!)

Finding My Voice

 
(Photo Credit) 

Wanting to implement so many new changes into my life--- more careful spending, paring down possessions, healthy changes, budgeting, environmental consciousness, and time management--- can be tricky. I try to be aware that overloading my plate with goals can divide my energy and focus, which can inhibit my efforts. On a blog initially designed to be about finding wealth outside of income, I see my interests and passions have branched into other aspects of my life. Interestingly enough, I've learned to observe these goals as a collective rather than separately. All of these elements fall together under one common objective:

Mindfulness.

As someone who has tried to meditate, let me tell you... it's hard. I will devote twenty minutes to sitting in stillness and calm, trying to quiet my mind. Instead, I spend the entire time reminding myself to unclench my jaw, to breathe deeply, to stop thinking about various topics. I learned a meditation "trick" in college: when a thought enters your mind, visualize it as a piece of paper, then visualize crumpling up that paper and throwing it into a wastebasket. However, it seems that in my years since college I have spent more time sending mental paper balls flying all over the place and less time being in an actual meditative state. Turning my mind off and getting my body to respond to that is very difficult.

All of these goals I seek for myself are essentially asking me to be more mindful of my actions and decisions. I have been asking myself to be more present in these situations as they are happening, so they will in essence become fluid and natural reactions that don't require my constant mental attention. Though my aspirations may seem numerous, I find that I am seeing results because I have undergone a process of becoming more mindful without even realizing that's what I was doing.

For example, in the area of spending and budgeting, I have held fast to my new 2013 plan. Though I could see daily results while tallying my "play money" on my marker board, I didn't see my overall spending results until I received my recent credit card statement. When I compared it to the statement prior, I realized with my new budget that I had spent $521.54 less over a 30-day period. I'm not even on a spending fast anymore! During my time of financial fasting, I saved an average of $680 per month. I was beyond stunned that my results were so successful despite removing such an extreme limitation.

But then again, I shouldn't be stunned. My spending fasts have brought more awareness to my spending habits: how often I spend, on what, and why. I developed a mindfulness that has carried over into my budget plan. Despite my not being on a spending fast, I had actively changed my approach to money in a way that stuck.

Secondly, I've found that--- while I am more mindful of my spending--- I have also increased my awareness for what money actually means to me. When finances are strapped, it becomes a huge mental burden... one that caused a lot of stress following my divorce and my knee injury. Having the financial means to cover those expenses (plus my cost of living) means I spend less time thinking about money. I realize that, for me, having sufficient financial means does not tempt or encourage me to have excessive financial means.

I'm currently reading the book "Womenomics: Work Less, Achieve More, Live Better," and one of the major topics addressed in this text is that time is the new currency. The appeal of a more prestigious job and higher salary loses its value at the expense of exhausting demands and work hours. In this day and age, many people are seeking freedom and flexibility over larger paychecks. I can very much relate to this way of thinking. While I strive to do good work and to be an effective employee, I also know that I can't perform at my best if I don't have time to see loved ones, get enough sleep, or indulge in fun activities. That balance is more valuable to me than money.

I'd rather have
a balanced life of doing work I enjoy with time for healthy relationships and hobbies
instead of
a life of making a lot more money but not having the resource of time to make it worthwhile.

Lastly, I have detected a greater mindfulness in my personal health and well-being. Being more aware of what I eat (and the triggers that cause me to overeat or make poor meal choices) has resulted in a six-pound weight loss since January 1st. Now, I let my hunger trigger my decision to eat instead of the sight of food triggering a feeling of hunger. I know I have a sweet tooth, and I allow for that indulgence without going overboard. I've also become more aware of physical misalignment: when I experience pain in my lower back or shoulders, when I begin to have frequent headaches, when I feel drained. I've incorporated yoga into my exercise regimen to help lower my heart rate at the end of the day, and to stretch out some of those tightened problem areas. I find that I am largely tense in my neck, lower back, hips, and feet.

Because I am becoming more mindful of my health, my spending, and my values, it helps me to better establish my blog voice. I feel I have a better understanding of how to incorporate and intersect these various aspects of my journey into one common goal, thus making my future posts more cohesive. I've been able to see my changing body and my changing bank account... but perhaps my changing mindset is the most dynamic of all.






...Ugh, that was a cliché way to end a post. My apologies.

January Results

 
(Photo Credit) 

This post has been delayed due to personal matters, so please excuse the brevity.

I came in under budget for the month of January, despite having to spend $50 over my gas budget for additional commuting. I rather like the transparency of writing each purchase on a dry erase board in my kitchen. For me, it was better for accountability than writing it in a checkbook and then tucking it out of sight. Because of steps I've taken earlier in my journey with spending fasts (then out of necessity) it has been a smoother transition to drastically reduce spending (now willingly and voluntarily). That money has gone straight into my savings account, along with the (small) profits of selling a few more unwanted items on eBay. Something is better than nothing.

I also adhered to my modified eating and exercise habits. I've lost six pounds since January 1st, and most of it can be attributed to dietary changes. For one week at the end of the month, I was ravenous. My stomach grumbled and ached with hunger all the time. Without agonizing over numbers and calories too much, I'd eat something small or drink a little juice to stave off the pangs. My body was clearly used to consuming more (much like my wallet had) and while I was not starving, my body was certainly reacting to the adjustment.  Regarding exercise, sometimes my workout only consisted of twenty minutes of light activity. However something is better than nothing.

Again, apologies for the limited content of this post. Something is better than nothing, right?

The Bittersweet Epiphany

 

(Photo Credit) 

In 2008, when I was twenty-four years old, I wrote on my Facebook page that while I enjoy the conveniences and technology of modern times, I could easily sell off most of my possessions and move somewhere remote. Yet, one year later, my blog was filled with desires to have a large, lush wardrobe and a massive record collection. I wanted a different job that paid more money so I could make numerous cosmetic upgrades to my home and to eat at fancy restaurants.

When I got divorced in 2011, my expenses doubled. I was now paying the full mortgage and utilities instead of just half. I also took a 10% pay cut at work due to budget constraints. Now, I had to pay more bills with less money. Shortly after, a distracted driver hit me on the freeway and totaled my car. Then, my dishwasher malfunctioned and flooded my kitchen. Finally, there was that knee injury and its related expenses. And I couldn't help but whine to myself about it... at first.

The end of my marriage forced some obvious change, but it also instigated some more gradual shifts in my approach to life. I didn't like my ex-husband's attachment to money and things, and I was beginning to notice a correlation with my own version of materialism. Sometimes an event can change the course of how we see things, and the exposure is bittersweet. It's so challenging to think you know what you want and how to live well, and to have that notion blown to smithereens. It created an uneasiness in me, and I could feel my heart grasping out into the void for attachment and meaning. The process of enduring that was very uncomfortable, but crucial to the growth that followed.

Despite the daunting task of restructuring my life views, I no longer had the deceptive veil over my eyes. Inevitably, I had to shift to a different way of spending, or I wouldn't be able to afford my home. I felt trapped by my house, which I'd owned for less than a year; I couldn't sell it because I had no equity, and I couldn't afford to keep living the way I was. I wanted to seek release by going out with friends or indulging in retail therapy, but would stay home alone knowing I couldn't afford it. I found that I couldn't pay my mortgage in full by myself; I had to ask my family for help. I am so fortunate to have such helpful, loving parents who were capable of financially assisting me... But I felt I was letting myself down because I'd lost my independence. All of this was better than staying in a toxic marriage, right? Right? At the time, I was very unsure.

While I had always been fiscally responsible with a budget, I now had to get more selective and more creative with my finances. As my knee surgery loomed, I knew I'd need to account for copays and expenses not covered by my insurance. I challenged myself to a spending fast for one month, and though the process was very difficult at times, the final results astounded me. Resisting that initial urge to spend when everyone else wanted to see the latest film or go out for a drink paid off in the long run, and I was able to cover my additional expenses without dipping into my savings.

The results didn't last, however, because I went back to my old method of budgeting. I realized I couldn't go on a spending "diet," because like food diets, they are temporary and yield temporary results. My mind shifted again to that twenty-four-year-old me, who didn't yet see the wisdom in her own words. I began to read blogs and books about minimalism, and the idea resonated with me immediately. Shortly thereafter, I was selling my possessions online or donating them. I was being more mindful of what I did choose to acquire.

I fasted on my spending again, this time for two months. During this period of fasting, I became even more aware of what I truly value. I know that I want to get rid of more stuff, and invest more of my time in experiences: enjoying the company of loved ones, playing guitar, being outdoors, reading a book, painting, exploring. I want to spend less time living vicariously through the Internet and more time seeing things with my own eyes and hearing them with my ears and touching them with my hands. I also want to regain my financial independence and invest in my future. Most of all, I want to drink in new cultures and obtain fresh perspectives in a way that only travel can provide.

Money-Saving Tricks For You To Start Using RIGHT NOW!

These tactics work for me. I'm not a financial expert or debt counselor, so consider yourself disclaimer'd:

• I don't care if the drive-thru "value menu" seems cost-effective. Rarely is the phrase "cheap and easy" ever a compliment. It costs far less to buy your own ingredients, put in some time and elbow grease, and make meals yourself (see photo above, and click to see a larger version). If your concern is that you don't have enough time to do this, consider making several meals' worth of food one evening or weekend when you do have time. Then portion off leftovers and store accordingly. If you're complaining about the time factor, then eating healthier food while saving money is honestly not really a priority for you. You will make the time for what you value most. So quit complaining, then, and enjoy your Taco Bell.
• Don't bring cash with you anywhere. Keep one credit card on hand for emergencies, and make sure it has a low balance. This inhibits impulse spending. If you don't have the money with you, you can't spend it.
• Pack meals and snacks ahead of time. It took me a while to adjust to this, but now I completely avoid the office kitchen and lobby café because I can fulfill my hunger urges with better options. I find that I don't pine for the doughnuts and cookies if I'm armed with something satisfying, like a homemade trail mix or granola, fruit, carrots with hummus, or tea. I actually have a box of tea on my desk, so I can make something flavorful to curb hunger (often times what feels like hunger is dehydration anyway). I even keep some instant hot cocoa packets around for those inevitable sweet tooth cravings.
• Keep a water bottle with you. No sense in paying for bottled stuff that isn't any different from what's in the drinking fountain. I even have a water bottle with a built-in carbon filter, so I can fill up with tap water when I'm on the go and it doesn't taste like butt.
• Libraries! You have free access to books, music, videos, learn a new language, even surf the internet if you don't want to pay for that anymore. Of course, late fees are not free, so be timely in your returns as well. Wen the weather is pleasant, I've been known to walk a mile to the library, pick out a book or movie, and walk home. I just exercised and picked up some evening entertainment, without spending a penny.
• Having a social life can add up: a cocktail here, a lunch outing there. For date nights it is easy to go out for dinner or see a movie. Consider paring down the spending without losing out on time with your favorite people: invite friends over for movie night (free from the library, perhaps!), to play board games, to do a clothing swap (hello, free new wardrobe!), to have a drink (buying the wine or beer--- or mixing drinks yourself---- is way cheaper), or just to sit around and chat. Sit in front of the fireplace, if you have one. If not, sit in front of a TV or computer screen playing video of a crackling fire. Go outside, play yard games. If the weather sucks, stay inside and roast marshmallows over unscented candles (yes, this works when you really want a s'mores in January)! Take turns cooking for each other, making cocktails for each other, hosting BYOB or potluck gatherings. One group of my friends likes to host theme parties and set up their own photo booth with a camera and props. This is much more fun, much more creative, and much more wallet-friendly. If you must go out, only have one alcoholic drink, or seek out local specials, or watch a movie in the cheap seats.
• Turn off Groupon and other coupon e-mails. Seeing stuff offered for a fraction of what they normally cost will--- surprise!--- really influence you to make a purchase. I actually set up filters in my Gmail account to automatically send any of these coupon offers to a folder without even appearing in my inbox. You could also just unsubscribe from everything, too.
• Stay out of the mall, dammit! There is nothing in there you need. You need groceries, you may need gas for your car, you may need electricity... none of these things are at the mall. If your weakness is Target or TJ Maxx, don't go there either. Just don't. If you think you have an exception to that rule, you're wrong. If you really wanted to, you could live your life without ever setting foot in Target or Wal-Mart again. I once stayed away for five months and didn't miss it. Their stuff may seem cheaper, but it also breaks or wears out faster when it's cheap, so you have to go back and buy more. If you must buy, take the extra time to seek out an item from a locally-owned business. You will also go in one day intending to buy cat food, and you'll walk out with a new scarf and lipstick and DVD and pants and... now you've hit a setback. Know your weaknesses and avoid them.
• Those things your grandparents used to do? Learn them. If you tear a seam in the sleeve of your shirt, could you sew it instead of throwing it out and buying a new one? I bet you could learn. Instead of paying several dollars for a loaf of bread, could you make it by hand for mere pennies? I bet you could learn. If your car gets a flat tire, could you change it yourself instead of calling AAA? I bet you could learn. Could you create your own laundry detergent for a few coins instead of dropping eight bucks on a jug at the store? I bet you could learn. Acquire a skill that modern conveniences have all but dismissed a need for, and you'll not only be cool like MacGuyver, but you'll be saving dollars, too.
• Get rid of your $#!T. By setting up an eBay account, you can take pictures of stuff you no longer want and sell it to someone who does. I made over $500 from September to December just by selling things I wasn't even using! (And then I used that moeny to pay my mortgage... how sexy!) I'll cover the world of eBay in another post. Craigslist is also an option, if you're trying to sell items like furniture or kitchen appliances. You could even take a carload of items to Goodwill and write it off on your taxes. If you itemize and list what you donate before you drop it off, you can see savings come tax season.
• Don't use the car if you don't have to. This doesn't apply to everyone, but reducing your time in a vehicle can cut costs rapidly. You save on fuel, you save on wear and tear, and if you walk or bike to your destination you can give yourself some health points as well.
• Post a picture or other reminder of what it is you REALLY want, and refer to it all the time. Each time you decide to buy a new nail polish, or order a new item of clothing, or grab a latte on-the-go, or impulsively buy a bunch of exotic cheeses, you are taking away money that will pay for your rent/mortgage/debt recovery/travel dreams/college loans/slimmer waistline/new camera or scooter or thing that would truly mean a lot to you. When you keep pining for something but don't have the funds, or if you're stressing about being able to pay the bills on a monthly basis, then you're depriving yourself of the peace of mind you genuinely want. You're sacrificing the big desire for a short-term one, and you're only hurting yourself.
• MAKE A BUDGET AND STICK TO IT! Learn how to track your spending, sit down and do some math to figure out your average cost in categories like food and gas and rent, and don't spend more than you make. Then honor it. Have someone help you set one up the first time if you're feeling overwhelmed. Keep tabs on it, and don't deviate. You know how when you gorge your face on holiday food over two weeks in December and suddenly you're thinking, "Whoa, these must be someone else's pants!" because they don't fit? You have no one to blame but yourself and your impulsiveness. Fiscal responsibility will prevent your debt's waistline from expanding. If you don't want to honestly face where your money goes (mine was always getting sucked up in new clothes and dining out), then you can't complain when you've got a house full of collectible Voltron toys but no money to fix that alternator in your car. Seriously, you're a grown-up. Don't be an idiot. Make a budget, be straight with yourself, and adhere to it.

Do you have any money-saving tricks that work for you? Knowledge is the real wealth... share away!